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We’re going to let you in on a secret – unlike gorgeous lingerie model Adriana Lima, we don’t actually know that much about bras. Which is weird, considering how many of them we see on a daily basis (maybe four or five times the average, more on Wednesday and Fridays thanks to the Week in Women) and still they remain something of a mystery to us. You’d think that after the raw amount of bras we’ve seen – most often with breasts in them, to be fair – that at least a vague technical expertise would have rubbed off on us by osmosis.
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And yet, crushingly, nothing. So when Adriana Lima brings out a new bra from our favourite bra-crafters Victoria’s Secret called the Showstopper bra, and fails to wear it properly on camera – instead merely draping it over her shoulder like an ineffective kitbag – we’re not entirely sure what it does, or why it does it. It offers “no-show coverage", which basically means the bra is invisible. Not invisible in a Emperor’s New Clothes way, especially if you pair it with an invisible bra and an invisible dress, but more that it’s not at all visible under clothes. In that it doesn’t leave any lumps.
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Good old Adriana Lima. Even though the other Victoria’s Secret girls seem to get more coverage (like Candice Swanepoel, for example – you almost can’t move for the sheer number of words we’ve written about the saucy South African) she’s always there. Sometimes she’s in the background, wearing something tight and posing languorously. Sometimes she’s helping the other girls deliver interviews to camera.
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But she very rarely gets an article all to herself. In fact, it was way back in February – yes, cast your minds back to when this country was a frozen, icy wasteland and Valentine’s Day loomed heavy on the horizon like some sort of romantic sword of Damocles – that we last featured her all on her lonesome, like she deserves. In an unusually Homer Simpson-esque move, she was eating flowers at the time. We’re not entirely sure why but it might point to the secret behind her fantastic lithe figure.
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Well we figured that this injustice has gone on too long! Luckily, so did the good people at Blumarine, and they arranged to have some pictures taken of the lovely Miss Lima in a variety of clothes. Which is just as well, really, else this article would have just been words with no pictures. And that wouldn’t have been much fun at all. So enjoy. Hopefully these pictures of Adriana will propel you through the stagnant morass that is Wednesday afternoon and onto the glittering hinterlands of Thursday morning, where it’s only a short step to the glorious, brilliant sunlight of quarter to five on Friday afternoon. Godspeed, everyone.
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Wouldn’t you just know it? Valentine's Day is coming up and the lovely folks at Victoria’s Secret are making hay while the sun shines. Yup, apparently there’s some sort of connection between ridiculously lingerie and Valentine's Day. So VS have been showing off what you might be lucky enough to get this year – Adriana Lima. Oh, hang on, it’s just the lingerie. Ok fine, your girlfriend is not going to buy you Adriana Lima for Feb the 14th, but to soften the blow we’ve got her right here for you.
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I thought that my earlier pictures of Miranda Kerr’s big old supermodel breasts were going to be a good way to finish off the week, that is until I found these ss of Adriana Lima’s even bigger supermodel breasts hanging out of various bras and lingerie and what have you. You’re welcome. This is more like it, look at those perfect things squeezed together like they were meant to be exposed this way. Amazing. I want to get drunk and pass out in those things. Call me.
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Here are a few of the test Victoria’s Secret models strutting their stuff while they show off their latest line of bathing suits for really really people. I wonder if average women hate seeing Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio and Candice Swanepoel trying to sell them swimwear. I know I don’t, I’d like to see them try selling me more things like baby oil or Slip & Slides or pretty much anything that will get them half naked and oiled up. .
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Well, it’s that time of year again: when Victoria’s Secret gathers all the test models in the world and puts them on an airplane to film the greatest lesbian orgy ever! OK, we all know that isn’t the case, but one can always dream. Actually, Adriana Lima, Heidi Klum, Alessandra Ambrosio, Izabel Goulart, Marisa Miller, Selita Banks and company are out promoting their upcoming fashion show, and new Victoria’s Secret lingerie line. Wow, that was a mouthful. Know what else is a mouthful? Izabel’s ass in those jeans. I wouldn’t mind biting into that.
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Here’s Adriana Lima at LA International airport’s security check point. Now, the obvious thing to say here is that I wouldn’t mind being the guy who gets to frisk Adriana Lima as she walks through the metal detector, but that would be a lie. I wouldn’t want to be “just”� that guy. I’d much rather be the guy who gets to pick out her panties every morning.
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What the hell is going on with my girl Adriana Lima? Lately, it’s been hit-or-miss with her, and today it’s a little bit of both. I’m digging the cleavage action, but the old school Hollywood-themed outfit and makeup is throwing me off my game. Why can’t she just be a good little supermodel, and show up to an event wearing a bikini? Is that really too much to ask?
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Here’s Adriana Lima at the “Dance For Tolerance” fundraiser. It’s an event to bring to kids together from around the world and you know, learn to be friends or something. It’s a very noble cause and that’s why I am posting these pics. Actually that’s a lie. I’m posting these pics because she’s . This fundraiser could have been called “Dance For Slavery“� and I’d still put her pos up and fight any man who speaks ill of her.
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I don’t know about you guys, but I haven’t read a magazine in ages. I just don’t see the point since the best pos can be found here on Hollywood Tuna. But today, to my surprise, I came across the latest GQ Magazine with Alessandra Ambrosio, Adriana Lima and the rest of the Victoria’s Secret clan and realized I didn’t have the best pictures after all. But now I do! So without further ado, I present to you the test pos on the web.
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The other day, I sinned. I feel dirty, and ashamed for what I did, but I wrote a semi-negative post on Adriana Lima. I never thought the day would come when I would be forced to do such a thing. It’s like picking which hand you’d rather have shoved in a meat grinder. Suffice it to say it was a painful ordeal. I even went as far as proclaiming that Alessandra Ambrosio may in fact be in the lead in terms of who’s the ter of the two. Well I’m happy to report that Adriana looks super in these pics, and has one thing Alessandra doesn’t. silly faces! I think the score is now tied 1 a piece. The two supermodels have no idea, but they’re now in a heated battle of the babes here on Hollywood Tuna. Who’s going to be the next to slip up? I’ll be watching.
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Adriana Lima doesn’t look all that great in these pics. There, I said it. That sentence alone may get me stoned to death by an angry mob, or sent to hell when I die, but I need to continue. Now I’m not saying she’s ugly. Not even close. I’m just saying she didn’t become the top supermodel on planet Earth by leaving the house sporting ugly dresses, and high tension hair buns like we see here. But everyone is entitled to an off day. Even Adriana Lima, so I’ll let these aberrations slide”¦this time. Next time, I’m afraid it’s going on your permanent record my dear.
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Adriana Lima and body painting. The two go together like rum and coke – a totally delicious combo. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t extremely jealous of that little Latin Hobbit. How the hell did he get this job? Did he answer a newspaper want ad? “Grimy little dude needed to paint the world’s test woman. $8.50/hr. Please inquire within”� Fine, have your Adriana Lima fun little man, but know this: You’ll always be too short to ride on roller coasters, and you’ll never know the fun you’re missing.
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This is nothing out of the ordinary. Adriana Lima is on the beach ““ again, wearing a tiny bikini ““ again. I could prattle on about how she looks, how great her body is or how much I’d prefer to see her completely naked, splashing about in my backyard in a kiddy pool full of olive oil (extra virgin of course), but I won’t. Instead, I’ll just say that if I were on the beach on that particular day and I caught a glimpse of Adriana bending over like she is here, I’d be like a bull charging a matador. The last thing I’d see before going to heaven would be the flash of her red bikini bottoms. Toro!
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Like the rest of you, when I think of Adriana Lima it usually brings to mind a bikini po shoot, or lingerie spread in a Victoria’s Secret catalogue. So you can imagine my disappointment when I saw these latest pictures of her attending the Dream Girls premiere wearing a head to toe dress. I’ve seen Amish schoolteachers show more skin at church than Adriana did for this event! Don’t get me wrong though, she still looks amazing. With a face like that, it’s pretty hard not to. You could put her head on the body of a Cabbage Patch Kid doll, and I’d still ask for her number.
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